Positive Discipline Tool Card: Curiosity Questions (Motivational)
Updated: Dec 5, 2021
Positive Discipline Teacher's Tool Cards by Jane Nelsen and Kelly Gfroerer and Positive Discipline Parenting Tool Cards by Jane Nelsen and Adrian Garsia, each offer 52 Positive Discipline tools that are available to help with many teaching and parenting challenges. Curiosity Questions (Motivational) is the highlighted tool in this blog post.
After trying out this tool with the children in your life, please share a story of success or struggle, you've had with it. Thank you! The more you apply the Positive Discipline teaching and parenting tools, the more they will become a part of your own lifestyle. Practice makes better!
4th grader, Matt, had a reputation among the students as being difficult with adults. He resisted doing what they asked of him. One day, when a classroom aide told him he needed to stop talking with his classmate and work on his schoolwork instead, Matt replied, "You're not the boss of me." The aide took a deep breath and then asked Matt a curiosity question, "Who is the boss of you?" Matt was surprised and slowly answered, "I am." Then the aide said, "Then you need to manage yourself so you can be successful." Matt thought about that and got to work on his schoolwork. The aide shared with me that she considers the "Curiosity Questions" tool one of her favorites because it's been so effective in the classroom.
12-year-old Jack didn't want to go to bed, even though he had school (online) the next day. His father was concerned about Jack getting enough sleep and staying healthy. Jack's father started a conversation with Jack, "What do you need to do to get enough sleep so you can stay healthy?" Jack did not respond the way his father had hoped ("Go to bed earlier."). Instead, Jack said, "I get enough sleep. Online school is stupid, anyway, so if I sleep through it, no problem. What's the point, this pandemic is going to drag on forever and school won't matter anyway. I might as well stay up and play video games - at least I'm having fun!"
Whew - Jack's father thought. "I got a lot of information from Jack after asking just one question. Now, we can have a real discussion about what's going on for Jack and how he's feeling. Then, we can think about solutions." Jack's father continued the conversation with Jack, in the manner previously mentioned, continuing to use curiosity questions. Ultimately, they were able to agree on a solution that was a win/win for both.
Where can you purchase these tool card decks? The card decks are available at www.positivediscipline.com (Select products, then select tool cards) and there are versions available for iPhone and Android in the App stores on the phones.