Positive Discipline Tool Card: Goal Disclosure
Positive Discipline Teacher's Tool Cards by Jane Nelsen and Kelly Gfroerer and Positive Discipline Parenting Tool Cards by Jane Nelsen and Adrian Garsia, each offer 52 Positive Discipline tools that are available to help with many teaching and parenting challenges. Goal Disclosure is the highlighted tool in this blog post.
After trying out this tool with the children in your life, please share a story of success, or struggle, you've had with it. Thank you! The more you apply the Positive Discipline teaching and parenting tools, the more they will become a part of your own lifestyle. Practice makes better!
Emma, a 3rd grade student, frustrated her teacher, Mrs. Martin, because of her constant
interruptions during Mrs. Martin's lecture time. Mrs. Martin was at her wit's end about how
to make Emma stop.
Mrs. Martin then realized she can't make Emma stop, only Emma can do that. Mrs. Martin
arranged to have Emma meet her after class for a discussion. The tool card, Goal Disclosure, was on Mrs. Martin's desk, as she referenced it during her talk with Emma. It ended up that Mrs. Martin never got past the first question, out of the four, because Emma
admitted she wanted Mrs. Martin's attention in order to stand out and feel special.
After further discussion, they came up with a plan on how Emma could get some "special
time" (another Positive Discipline tool) with Mrs. Martin so she wouldn't feel the need to be
interrupting her for attention.
There is no equivalent Positive Discipline Parenting Tool Card for Goal Disclosure. Please refer to the teacher's tool card above.
16-year-old Ernie was used to going to battle with his dad, Miguel. Ernie felt that his dad harassed him constantly with requests to "do this" and "do that". Ernie felt like he couldn't do anything right. Miguel felt like his son was lazy and purposely tried to get out of doing any household chores, including the basics of just picking up after himself. Miguel was tired of having to remind Ernie to clean up.
Miguel used the Goal Disclosure card to ask Ernie the questions. It became apparent, after the second question, that Ernie was feeling like his dad was trying to take his power away by controlling him. It was question two that connected the dots for Miguel. He had been in a power struggle with Ernie, one where neither he, nor Ernie, could win. They talked, and came to a few agreements, around Ernie picking up after himself, and how Miguel would not constantly remind Ernie, but give him a chance to "do the right thing" first.
Where can you purchase these tool card decks? The card decks are available at www.positivediscipline.com (Select products, then select tool cards) and there are versions available for iPhone and Android in the App stores on the phones.